The Wedding

On Sept 23rd, the girls and I, along with another Harris wife, were invited to attend the wedding of the brother of Leon’s office manager, Kholoud. This was going to be an actual Muslim Emirate wedding – how exciting! Muslim weddings are very different from the traditional weddings we are used to attending. Males and females are separated and in this case the men had their event on the day before our celebration! The only man attending our function would be the groom!
We had to drive to Sharjah, which is north of Dubai, about 2 hours from Abu Dhabi. We arrived at the hall and were greeted by Kholoud. I realized that I had only ever seen her in a burqa – the black gown the muslim women wear. But tonight she looked gorgeous in a vivid purple sparkly gown! There were beautiful women everywhere! We instantly felt underdressed! In the lobby, Kholoud introduced us to some of her sisters, cousins, and then her mother and Aunts. This was the greeting line! We then entered the hall – an enormous room with tables for about 400-500 people! We had hoped to be able to hide in the background as we didn’t feel appropriately dressed but no such luck! Kholoud then paraded us right through the room and we were introduced to everyone! We were the only westerners there!
At the back was a long runway and large stage decorated with strings of flowers and in the center of the stage was a 10ft long ornate bench! Our table was close to the runway so we would have a perfect view of the event! Bowls of food were already on the tables and we were quickly met by servers who offered us drinks. We weren’t sure what the drinks were, but too afraid to say no, we politely accepted what we thought we recognized! In this country and especially in this setting one is so afraid to “do the wrong thing” and offend someone. We sat motionless afraid to eat or drink until someone said it was OK! Maybe we had to wait for the bride or the other guests at the table – we had no idea! But we finally asked one of the servers and were told it was OK. We tried the various snacks on the table. The girls were starving as it was now close to 10pm! But of course they were not going to try these strange foods!
Kholoud and some of her sisters and cousins later sat with us. This was wonderful since all the prayers and directions were in Arabic! We now had our own narrator to explain what was happening. What we enjoyed most was seeing the beautiful women being able to dress and express themselves freely. When they are in public and around men who are not family members, they must be covered. But here they wore brightly colored gowns with sequins, and colorful makeup with false eyelashes! Unfortunately we were not allowed to take photographs.
At 11pm the bride arrived. The lights dimmed and the spotlight shown on this beautiful woman in a sparkly white long dress with a train and a crown! This is not what I expected! I imagined a more traditional dress, or maybe a sari. Anyway, she walked slowly down an aisle that was formed between the tables with her close family and friends guiding her. This would be her bridal party I imagined. Lucky for these girls though, they were not forced to wear the dreaded bridesmaid dress! They too wore brightly colored gowns of their own choosing! She then stepped onto the runway and walked towards the stage. There she sat on the golden bench as her family helped poof up her dress! Then as is customary, each table of woman walked along the runway and then greeted and congratulated the bride. There was definitely an order to this as her immediate family members went first followed by cousins, then the grooms family and then friends. After each table congratulated the bride many of the women remained on the runway and danced. The young girls, who looked like princesses, were running all over the runway also. The celebrating had begun!
Now here in the interesting part. At just before midnight it was announced that the groom would be arriving shortly. There was a mad dash for the back of the hall as all the women who were not his immediate family had to be covered when he arrived. WIthin moments all the beautiful gowns were covered in the black burqas. As we felt way underdressed, I would have loved to have put on a burqa!
The groom arrived and he too walked slowly down the aisle with some of the ladies guiding him. Again he was the only man in attendance. He joined the bride on the bench and the ritual of each table greeting the couple began all over again! And of course professional photos were now being taken. The couple was now married. That was it! No ceremony with a religious figure who pronounces them “husband and wife”! Apparently there had been parties all week long prior to this evening and this was the official celebration with all family and friends!
As it was now after midnight and we had a 2 hour drive home, we thanked our hosts for this amazing opportunity. We had been the only westerners there and we felt honored to be included in such a personal event!